Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Sometimes the best part of visiting family is the anticipation. I realize this, but somehow I still cannot stifle the disappointment when a twelve hour drive with a four year old to a place I adore results in mostly feeling like I'd rather be home. Why is that? Why can't I just let go and enjoy? Maybe because my four year old was plagued with allergies and I felt responsible. Maybe because my 10 month old niece is growing so fast and I'm missing it. Maybe because I really don't fit in the north anymore after having been in the south over 15 years. Maybe because I was too worried about being judged and therefore was judged as being too worried. Maybe because I'm getting too old to do the long distance car thing. Maybe, just maybe, I would simply rather be home. I guess it really doesn't matter. The emotional pain stings no matter what the reason. I'll wait a couple of months, until school is over and/or a family event calls my name, then I'll do it all again. Except, maybe next time I'll fly...............

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